


Let It Snow

by cassiecasyl



Series: October Prompts 2020 [9]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst and Feels, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Canon Universe, Dead Peter Parker, Feels, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hopeful Ending, Hurt Tony Stark, Hypothermia, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, James "Rhodey" Rhodes is a Good Bro, Medical Inaccuracies, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Snow, Suicidal Thoughts, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Whump, not edited we die like persons, probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:28:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28435386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cassiecasyl/pseuds/cassiecasyl
Summary: Tony finds himself lying in the snow, greeting death.
Relationships: James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Series: October Prompts 2020 [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1954552
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	Let It Snow

**Author's Note:**

> Guess who decided to write a whumptober fic at the end of 2020? That's right, this bitch. I got the inspiration for this story in a yt comment section of all places where someone said they'd always interpreted the song "Let It Snow" to be in the pov of someone accepting their freezing death. 
> 
> trigger warnings: Suicidal Thoughts, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm (slightly), Dying/Hurt Character
> 
> prompt: Whumptober 2020 Day 21 - Hypothermia

Tony didn’t know how he ended up here, with his broken armor next to him, and his body shivering uncontrollably. He was laying on the ground in little more than a t-shirt, accessing how the ground felt against his skin, blinking at the lack of results. There should’ve been something, right? But, he felt numb, save for the familiar warmth that had settled in his bones. It was a warmth he’d sworn off though it had carried him through decades of his life. Why did he do that? Ah, yes, he wanted to experience life to be more than a blur of shaky memories. This moment though, this had to be a blur. 

His body was yearning, no, screaming for warmth that escaped him in little clouds with every breath, but his heart was already frozen. _Why was he alive?_ He let everyone down, most of all Peter, who turned to ashes in his fingers…. He heaved a sob and tears burned in his eyes, taking off into the night with more of his warmth. He didn’t deserve it anyway. It belonged somewhere else, far away from his body, somebody else who was unreachable. _“I’m sorry_ ,” he whispered, recounting last words. 

The dark sky was filled with little lights, each of them something that would’ve lit up Peter’s eyes in wonder and excitement, each of them becoming a nightmare because he got to close. He should’ve never involved the kid, should’ve stayed far away, didn’t he learn anything? He was a time bomb to those around him and they had every right to leave. 

The stars moved, slowly swaying in the wind and dancing down to earth. Only then did Tony realize that they were ashes, surrounding him in their innocence, moving to bury him under a soft blanket of death, and turning to tears every time they touched his skin. It was cold, and he wanted to sleep, but every time he closed his eyes he was back on that damn planet. He should’ve died there. Everyone else did, so why couldn’t he? 

Finally, the icy burn of frozen tears on his cheeks registered and Tony sighed. His thoughts slouched to a halt, struggling to move in the snow. Jarvis had left him to go to sleep, or was that tonight? Nobody was there to keep him company, only sneaky snowflakes and a sky as dark as his brooding mind. Tony smiled. 

_And since we've no place to go  
_ _Let it snow, let it show, let it snow_

He mused, content to darken his sight further by letting go. The song weaved through the winds, singing him to sleep, saying a farewell. It was time to go, the end credits were already rolling. Tony’s eyes slipped close, greeting the ones he lost, he _failed_. His arms itched to hold them close, or maybe it was losing life. Either way, he paid it no attention. He just wanted to sleep. 

“Stay awake, please,” a voice whispered that sounded suspiciously like Peter, but it was faded, ghostly, not there. Tony choked on a sob, feeling all air leaving his battered body. 

“I love you, Pete,” he answered, new tears adding to the icy coating on his cheeks. He couldn’t always be the one to survive. 

_The fire is slowly dying  
_ _And, my dear, we're still good-bying_  
 _But as long as you love me so  
Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow_

~~~

Agony curses through his body as Tony wakes up, pestering him with the feeling of ants in his limbs, and fire burning around him. It was a weird contrast, his cold body enraptured in stinging warmth. It was okay though, even comfortable after some time. Though laced with pain, the warmth was nice. 

Slowly, he becomes aware of the shuffling in the room, of people talking, of closing doors. Leaving. They were leaving, and he panics again, begging, pleading, _don’t leave me_. All that exites his mouth is a low groan and he nuzzles deeper into the blanket in shame. _They have the right to leave_ , he reminds himself, and it leads to another question, one pondered over during countless nights: _why is he still alive?_

“Tony?” That’s him. Someone came back for him. Tony blinks his eyes open, groaning at the blinding light, trying not to slip away again. Everything is hazy and unfocused, weird blobs of colors. He closes his eyes again in frustration. Shut it off and on again, he thinks, but no chuckle erupts. His vision is still blurry, but there’s a dark face in it now and he knows this. 

“Rhodey?” he croaks, throat unbearably dry from the mix of cold and warm and from tears. Tony frowns. He remembers tears, but he doesn’t know why. 

“Welcome back, Tones,” Rhodey replies, somehow managing to smile and sound snarky at the same time. Tony smiles, finding the relief in his friend’s snark. His surroundings are clearer now and he looks around. He recognizes the sanitary white of the medbay that always left an ugly aftertaste in his throat. 

“What happened?” 

Rhodey musters him before he answers with a question himself: “How much do you remember?” 

Tony frowns, working against his aching, still frozen mind, but all that comes up is a snowy blur. He sighs. Somewhere along the line he’s lost his regret but it has found him again. “Snow,” he provides. 

If anything, it only strengthens Rhodey’s disapproving face, the relief of his survival already replaced with the anger about what he did. Because he fucked up again, didn’t he? Rhodey has had to deal with his escapades far too often. How he’s still staying around is beyond Tony. 

“Well, you’d gone on a bender and when I tried to talk some sense into you, because one of us has to be the responsible one, you’d up and snatched the nearest armor and flew away. You’re one lucky bastard we could figure out your coordinates from your flight pattern after you crashed.” Tony nods, staring at the blanket that keeps him warm, alive. He is alive. There’s no cheer inside him. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles, to nobody in particular, or maybe he’s trapped in memory again. The kid woudn’t want him to go like that. If he did, his death would be for nothing, and that’d betray everything he stood for. _When you can do the things that I can, but you don't, and then the bad things happen?_ _They happen because of you_. Peter’s death is on his conscience. 

“Tony?” Rhodey asks again, and Tony looks up, snapping for air as he raises above the thoughts that want to drown him. “I’m glad you’re here.” He blinks at the words, so unexpected. Maybe, if he can’t find the cheer within him he has to look outside. And maybe he couldn’t save Peter, but he could make damn sure he’ll avenge him. Thanos had it coming, however heavy the trauma is he put on him. _Whatever it takes. For the kid_ , he thinks. 


End file.
